Question) I am a U.S. citizen and have been living in South Korea with my Korean boyfriend for about 3 years. We loved each other and agreed to get married, but we were so busy completing the legal process on time, and most importantly, we didn`t find the need to do so. We thought of ourselves simply as husband and wife, just like our friends and families. While living together, he ran an Internet business and made quite a profit from it. I took care of all the household chores and sometimes I also helped with his work. But recently, I found out that he had cheated on me. I was so shocked and separated from him. What worries me is whether I am entitled to the wealth accumulated during our cohabitation, such as a right to divide property between divorced couples.
Oh wow, my girlfriend has some experience abroad, so she said it`s okay for her even though she wasn`t considering the wedding part, but I notice a slight lack of comfort when it comes to this topic. In a way, I`m quite relaxed and for me it`s just important that we can be together, but I`ve already given up on the idea of growing up and getting old in my hometown. Still, I`m glad you can confirm that this is normal, haha. I`m going to swim against the current here. Yes, it is true that this is quite normal in Korean culture and is not usually done to live together before marriage. It is indeed important to respect their culture. My girlfriend (Korean) and I (Dutch) discuss ways to live together. But she is very hesitant. She told me it was strange that couples lived together before marriage and their parents didn`t quite agree, but it is becoming more and more acceptable. It was a little strange for me, because after I turned 20, my parents stopped caring about who I lived as long as I didn`t live with them anymore. The other thing she mentioned is where to live. One option is to live in the countryside, where people are a bit more traditional, so she`s afraid I won`t fit in.
The other option is to come to the Netherlands, where she thinks she is exposed to a lot of racism. As a person who currently lives with a Korean partner before marriage – this 100%. You are with a stranger as you are with a Korean. Both sides deserve respect and share each other`s culture. Hello here a little personal experience. I am 42 years old Dutch and I met my Japanese girl 11 years ago with a woman. She is fluent in Chinese, Korean, Japanese, English and Dutch and has a Korean background. 10 years ago we had the same problem, but we decided she was coming to Holland and all I can say is that it worked well, but not without fighting. The main reason we chose Holland was that if I moved there and she could work at a law firm here, I had to start my career at the bottom of the ladder. The early years were the biggest struggle due to the cultural divide (directivity) and it is considered rude by most Asians. We have had a lot of arguments about that.
But the biggest shock for her was the culture at work, the frankness of people in a law firm knows no bounds. But now she has simply changed and is direct like Dutchwoman, because the soft approach does not work. About racism yes, it exists and it is difficult for an Asian to act against it, but from my wife`s experience, it is really insignificant, but maybe it has to do with my wife`s work and education level and where we live (near Amsterdam). For example, most people think she`s Chinese and lately you`ve seen people avoiding Covid Asian BCZs. Her parents have never had any problems living together and are quite open about it. If you want to know more or need more information about the experience, write me But the fact is that for many Koreans, living together is still frowned upon and something they keep very secret. Much more if it is with a stranger. Yes, cultures must be respected, but it has absolutely much more to lose if you end up separating.
I never talked about living with my wife before marriage because I knew it was out of the question, but I knew her character pretty well at the time. Marrying her was the best decision I`ve ever made De facto marriage “divorce” A court recognizes that a factual marriage gives the spouses of that marriage similar protections to legally married couples – with a caveat. One of the spouses in a common-law marriage is not entitled to a division of property after the death of the other spouse. However, before death, the spouse can bring an action for division of family property and claim compensation for pain and suffering (consolation benefit) caused by the other spouse in the common-law marriage. Despite Article 809, many men and women who shared the same lineage chose to live together as husband and wife. The joint ban on marriage for surnames was temporarily lifted in 1977,[7] 1987,[8] and three times in 1995 by special laws for one year each. [9] At the time of the first special law in 1977, 4577 eponymous ancestor couples/spouses were married. In 1988 this number increased to 12,443 and in 1996 there were 27,807. [10] Some estimate the actual number to be as high as 200,000 couples, nearly 2% of all married couples in South Korea. The children of these marriages are legally illegitimate. They are not entitled to national health insurance and are discriminated against in inheritance and property rights.
Does anyone know what the general social perception of unmarried couples living together in Seoul is? Under Korean law, the parties must declare their marriage to the government in order to establish the marital relationship. Simply having a wedding ceremony and/or living together as husband and wife is not enough to contract a legal marriage. If the parties live together without the marriage relationship and consider themselves spouses, it is called a de facto marriage or de facto marriage. Korean law recognizes common-law unions. A common-law relationship is not a legal marriage. She is therefore not entitled to the same legal protection as marital marriage. But when it comes to the dissolution of de facto marriage, Korean law applies almost the same protection to the parties. Whenever I was in Korea, I didn`t mind being the “foreigner.” So I`m not worried about living in Korea, but there`s a plan where she would move to the Netherlands first with me. As much as I`d like to say that the Netherlands is culturally very diverse, I`m also just a local here, so I don`t know what it would be for them here. I`ve never been to the U.S. either, so the comparison is a bit short, haha, but I think Korea would be ideal, but it`s also bureaucratically the hardest to achieve in the short term, especially in these times. But thank you, I hope you can avoid racism there:) The above situations generally satisfy a court.